I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
