operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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