My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
