yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
