Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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