Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
