I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
