Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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