I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you still have your period?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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