plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
