does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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