I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
