Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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