what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize