How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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