We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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