lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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