He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
