Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
