Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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