so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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