How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
