we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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