he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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