i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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