Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
