Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize