8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she told me i tasted like america
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
