When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize