mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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