I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize