I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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