you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
