you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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