keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
