at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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