so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
