is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
