i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
