I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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