OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
