whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
