'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
