I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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