Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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