My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize