ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
is it fun? or sober?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
