So drunk its hurt
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
