she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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