we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
