fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
