I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
