That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
