I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
