we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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