It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
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