Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
