Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
