mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
