Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
