why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
