Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
