belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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