I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
