Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
